Struggling

Today I took our youngest daughter to the airport to go see her Dad up North. It was her first time flying alone. She’s driving back with him Saturday and he’s coming home for good. Her leaving triggered me. Is this how it would be if we would’ve divorced and he moved away? No, throw that thought out of your mind…He wouldn’t have left his daughters for HER. He wanted to leave you, but not them.
So he’s sending photos of her having a great time and I’m happy that they are having some much needed daddy/daughter time. He calls this afternoon and tells me that they are getting ready to go to the gym, which she has been dying to do with Dad. He proceeds to tell me that after the gym they were going to go to a Vietnamese restaurant with a lady he met at the gym awhile back. Our daughter loves noodles and rice and any Asian food. Now mind you he’s told me about this woman. I’ve been trying to be understanding; that he finally made a “friend” at the gym where everyone seems rude as hell. Well…. This triggered the fuck out of me. WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD YOU GO TO DINNER WITH ANOTHER WOMAN, ONE WHO I DON’T KNOW WITH OUR CHILD?!?!?!? What in the hell are you thinking?!?!?! It seems so innocent to him, but he has no fucking clue as to how fucked up this is after what he put us through! I’m fucking pissed and struggling to make sense of his thinking this is ok. I explained to him that I wasn’t okay with it and he just thought that was ridiculous. He was telling me, being transparent, he has nothing to hide. Let’s see… I DON’T FUCKING CARE! It’s inappropriate especially after what we’ve been through the last two years and I don’t approve… PERIOD! I know he told me because our daughter would have. How uncomfortable would that have been for her I kept thinking. I explained to him how he felt what he was doing was “innocent” when he went to dinner alone with the whore. He said “I talk about you, us the kids with this lady”. AND?!?!? You told the whore you were married with two daughters too. She didn’t care, she still wanted you. You barely know this woman, just like you barely knew the whore when you went to dinner with her… Oh and walked her to her room, went in, sat on her bed, and FUCKED HER!!!!!!!!!!
He just doesn’t get it and unfortunately never will. I’m just sad. Sad that this is my reality. This is our marriage. His affair is a part of our story.